Lately I feel like I am rearranging the space in my mind. I am starting a new job, and taking on some outside volunteer activities in my life. On top of that, my college kids have returned home for the summer. Despite the changes, I feel pretty relaxed with the new additions. I think I am adapting to the transition because I am really paying attention to balancing things – I am scheduling and planning but remembering to keep the things I have identified as key to my stress management in that plan. Meditation has been a central part of my new routine.
In the past, transition and change created anxiety for me. Anxiety and fear had plagued me for many years. Rumination was a habit that burned deep grooves in my brain. If I was learning something new I would have a tendency to go over and over even the littlest of setbacks or failures. The meditation I have been doing lately is very helpful for me in identifying the types of thoughts that triggered rumination in the past. As I mentioned before, I am using the Headspace app that I purchased recently as my daily meditation guide.
I learned about Headspace ( https://www.headspace.com/) first in a short seminar on meditation that I attended at my local library. The facilitator gave a good review and recommendation for the app. I then saw it mentioned in a book I was reading and did my own investigation of it online. I like that the app is very simple, easily adjustable in length of sessions, and fairly inexpensive. I have recently put The Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness by Andy Puddicombe (the founder of Headspace) on reserve. I want to use his book to identify other resources for furthering my understanding of, and deepening my experience in meditation.
I have completed almost two months of daily meditations and I believe that I have better control in my life because of it. Tomorrow will be the final day in a thirty day pack of self-esteem meditations and I am delighted to report that I find I am not really thinking about myself much at all anymore. By that I mean, I am almost totally unselfconscious. A little over a year ago I suffered from what my therapist (at the time), called” ironic grandiosity”. I was the most loathsome creature I knew and I was constantly aware of myself in a way that felt inescapable. Today I am relaxed and comfortable with who and what I am.
With the changes that I am making I know that there is potential for rumination and self-doubt so I will check back in a few weeks to see if the meditation routine is helping. Meanwhile, I will continue to practice yoga as often as I can and keep working creative outlets such as art and writing into my daily experience. I also plan to begin a new pack of meditation exercises in the area of balance.
As always, I would love to know what is working for others. What makes transitions easier for you?