The Desolate State of Deep Depression
Is it possible to give another individual a map or a set of directions out of a state of depression? Depression is a hideously recognizable place. It’s the flat, colorless, shadowy, bitter, wilderness of the mind. If you have been to depression and come out of it and then run into another individual who is there in his or her own tortured brain, when he or she talks in that slow, laborious way about how nothing is good and everything tastes flavorless and dull; when he or she complains of the aches and pains and the exhaustion and inability to sleep can you cheerfully describe the way out? How do you get out of that place – that state of mind that is so brutally harsh and debilitating?
The person trapped in that place sees only him or herself. Sometimes they recognize their fixation on themselves, are horrified by the seeming indulgence, and yet they can’t tear their eyes from the hideous reflections. They are fixated on all they see that glares and amplifies their selfishness, self-absorption, and self-loathing. They can talk of nothing else. They can think of nothing else. They are a slave to the work of self-hatred. It’s the never ending task of selfishness.
What will break that trance? What words or actions can unlock those chains? Can another individual liberate a captive mind or must freedom always come from within? The lost must see the way. The desperate seeker must choose a different path and recognize his or her own way out. The ultimate responsibility for rejection of this mindtrap is on the individual who resides there. Lifelines might be dropped into place by caring others but the soul who is consumed in self-absorption has to be aware enough to choose to grab hold and climb out on his own. When transformation comes, the lost individual gets the credit for the evolution of self.
I broke the hold of depression when I understood that I was not who I thought I was; when I understood that there was not one other player but myself who could change my course. If you have broken the hold, how did it come to you? Was there a moment of awakening for you as Eckhart Tolle had? Sharing your thoughts might extend a lifeline for another.
It really hurts how you describe the selfishness, self loathing and self-absorption of oneself. What are you implying in your statement; “when the transformation comes, the lost individual gets the credit for the evolution of self”. They should get some of the credit because they had to work hard and grabbing the life lines when they are weak and hopeless. They already feel terrible that they are where they are. The hatred of the pain and then the hatred of the self for not being able to handle the pain and then the hatred of not being able to escape the pain drives the individual into the pit of hell.
This is is a post written from my perspective and my understanding of the state of depression, I speak from my own experience and from the experience of a person who has listened hard and long to the tales of others in the same mindset. These are my observations. These are my perceptions. Why are you hurt by these perceptions?
My statement, “when the transformation comes, the lost individual gets the credit for the evolution of self.” Is exactly as you suggest and more. It is saying that not some, but ALL of the credit goes to the individual climbing out because it is ultimately his or her choice to do so.
Depression is a mindset. The choice to remain unhappy is indeed a choice. It is a choice made by an individual who derives some sort of benefit from being there. That individual may not realize or recognize why he has chosen unhappiness or what benefit it holds but until he decides that it is not what he wants, he will remain in the grips of his choice or perhaps, keep returning to it.
Simplistic perhaps, easy? Never. Choosing peace (happiness is fleeting) over depression often requires hard work Finding the tools to work one’s way out can help.
This post was not written with any one individual in mind, but rather, with the State of Depression as it appears to exist in many, many people.
yes you are right in saying it is YOUR perspective and your understanding. And the choice to remain happy is indeed a choice. Again that is your perspective. I don’t think it is that black and white. Yes, I agree with your statement it is never easy. It is very difficult conversing with you because I feel like I am being judged and that I should be able to just make the choice of being happy and it should soon come with laborious work. I have no idea, and yes I have searched deep, what benefit I derive from being there. This is NOT what I want. If you think this is the only answer, we would not have all the depression we have in this world of ours. I guess I figure I am a sum of my experiences. My experiences, positive or negative, silently creep into my psyche and bury themselves. Oh, how deeply they bury themselves into my subconscious. Then come racing out in all directions and all at the same time.The words that have been spoken to me, the issues left unresolved and they become my truth. I guess I allow them to reside there, comfortably. They speak to me and guide my thoughts, my beliefs then my choices. If people knew me, the real me, they would learn what I already knew that I simply was not good enough. So if quite difficult at times to make that choice of happiness.
You have said some powerful things here. You stated, ” I guess I figure I am a sum of my experiences.” I do not believe anyone is the sum of his or her experiences, unless that is what he or she chooses to identify with.
Next you said, ” I feel like I am being judged.” What words make you feel judged? The post was written about The State of Depression (and I want to clarify, I was referring to chronic depression, not situational). If the words about selfishness and self-absorption ring harsh, it is not a judgment but an observation about what chronic depression does to any individual, not a specific person. This is a post about depression not a person. As for, “If people knew me, the real me, they would learn what I already knew that I simply was not good enough.” That is a statement made by someone who is her very own harshest judge – could the judgment you feel from me be a reflection of your own harsh judgment of yourself? You attribute judgment to what I have said – what evidence is there that I have judged you as anything at all?
Depression abounds in this world for many and varied reasons – I contend that severe, repeat depression comes from the individuals unmet needs. What those needs are can only be truly understood by that individual. Black and white? Not at all.
Yes I am my own harsh harsh judge. I disagree about that severe repeated depression comes from unmet needs. Although Ya know I remember a quote by Pema ? that resonated with me for a long time. “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” So the question to myself is, “What is there and what do I so desperately need to learn? Another thing I do believe we ARE the sum of our experiences negatives and positives.That is what makes our character.